try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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