Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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