I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
please come you make the beer taste better
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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