The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
When are your genitals available?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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