people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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