Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
