After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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