I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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