is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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