We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
