So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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