Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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