We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
