new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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