Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
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Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
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Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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