Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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