It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
