Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
