North Korea, Best Korea!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
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You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
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