i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
