we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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