the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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