my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
