wake up i wanna do it froggy style
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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