Dual....:-)
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
