some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
