Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
