you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
