Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
