Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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