And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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