no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
