OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
