I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize