i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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