Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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