If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I have tasted many bathrooms
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
