so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
