i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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