Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
my poor anus
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
