I didn't shave. On purpose
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just want to make out with him forever
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
