After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
