Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
