yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
