Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
