I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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