And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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