he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
