He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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