Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
