Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
