So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
