Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
