did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
