Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
you made out with another girl for some wings
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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