i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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