She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
