They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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