We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize